I underestimate my need for friends. I know that is so unfair to you all. but it's one of my failing that I haven't gotten around to amending yet.



I forget how good it is to talk you all. How it is food for my soul to laugh with you. To be with you.



I am convinced there is not enough hugging going around in this world. Hugs are the best.



My North Carolina family goes back home today....And I exaggerate not, I am feeling ill, sick to my stomach, because I'm so sad. It's not usually hard for me to say goodbye. Life moves people in and out of our lives and I've always known that crying does not help them come back any sooner. It doesn't change what is. But I couldn't help myself this time.



I live inside my mind. And inside my mind, I tell myself that I am a secondary friend to you all. I am replaceable. Life continues on without me, just as easily as it did with. I am distant from you all in my mind. Like a bird fly way, way overhead. There but not. A third wheel. And think I am realizing that all that might be a lie. A big, hairy one. One that has robbed us.



I think that's why I am so torn up about them leaving. But then again, I don't want to rationalize it. I want to believe that I am torn up because I may be somewhat human.



Work at the swim school is humanizing me. I am less of an alien now. Let me tell you, being human is weird.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y-XBWXY9H0