Where were you?

"I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, Where you been?
He said, Ask anything.
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad" -The Fray "You Found Me"

I was sitting in the back seat of a car watching the world through a small break in the frost on my window. The Fray played on the radio, and as the only star in the sky centered itself in my patch of frostless window, I wondered if it was coincidence...If maybe God had lined that star up inside the frame of ice crystals for me to see. But as the car turned and the star disappeared, I turned from the window. Because it wasn't good enough. And it dawned on me.

I've figured out why I am mad at God.

It's because if he loved me, he would have saved her. He would have made her believe. He would have softened her heart. He would have given me the strength to help her.

That's why I am where I am now. That's why I graduated early. It's why I haven't knelt before Him for months. It's why my passion is dead. I'm so sick of being sorry. Cause I don't know why I couldn't do a thing. I don't know what I should have done differently, other than care less than I did.... So there it is. I can do nothing to change it. That's what it is and now I know. I don't know what else there is to say. Except that I don't know where this epiphany leads me or what it makes me.

Cause as much as i tell myself that i planted a seed. and that someone else will come along and help her to believe...i am in the end met with the fact that she is more angry and more sorrowful than before she knew me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhdTlImFBo i think the Fray wrote this song for me.