.....meh. it is a sad day. i watched that last CSI...what was it called?...."leave out all the rest" it confirmed the really bad feeling i got a few episodes ago that Sara was out of the picture for good. . . i read fanfiction everyday for a week or two after. Fellow sad GSR-fans wrote about three or four fic a day about how Sara and Grissom would get back together....meh, i had a feeling tho......

Does art always have to imitate life?
couldn't art just be happy? baaaaah!

shoot. well. i'm sorry sarah. i am a gil grissom goldfish stuck in the mud. i have this fear that the mud is drying up. i spose i never really did answer you.

i have been listening to all these songs that i used to love the lyrics to because they helped me be angry at you. and now i listen to the same songs and can only seem to apply them to myself. i feel so immobile. so stuck. i am out of practice. i can't speak. i can't draw. i can't write. i am stuck. all the things, all those stupid things that i thought would keep you around are looking like raisins. pruney and old...and in my opinion, distasteful.

......i don't feel intuitive....i used to think i was intuitive. i think there's a verse about that.

there is no measure.....to how much i'd love to move on....but i don't know where to and fear everything outside my front door.

k, i think i'm gonna post this before i think better of it.